「じゃ何と云うんだ」
「ハイカラ野郎の、ペテン師の、イカサマ師の、猫被りの、香具師の、モモンガーの、岡っ引きの、わんわん鳴けば犬も同然な奴とでも云うがいい」
「おれには、そう舌は廻らない。君は能弁だ。第一単語を大変たくさん知ってる。それで演舌が出来ないのは不思議だ」
「なにこれは喧嘩のときに使おうと思って、用心のために取っておく言葉さ。演舌となっちゃ、こうは出ない」
「そうかな、しかしぺらぺら出るぜ。もう一遍やって見たまえ」
「何遍でもやるさいいか。――ハイカラ野郎のペテン師の、イカサマ師の……」と云いかけていると、椽側をどたばた云わして、二人ばかり、よろよろしながら馳け出して来た。
「両君そりゃひどい、――逃げるなんて、――僕が居るうちは決して逃さない、さあのみたまえ。――いかさま師？――面白い、いかさま面白い。――さあ飲みたまえ」
とおれと山嵐をぐいぐい引っ張って行く。実はこの両人共便所に来たのだが、酔ってるもんだから、便所へはいるのを忘れて、おれ等を引っ張るのだろう。酔っ払いは目の中る所へ用事を拵えて、前の事はすぐ忘れてしまうんだろう。
「さあ、諸君、いかさま師を引っ張って来た。さあ飲ましてくれたまえ。いかさま師をうんと云うほど、酔わしてくれたまえ。君逃げちゃいかん」
と逃げもせぬ、おれを壁際へ圧し付けた。諸方を見廻してみると、膳の上に満足な肴の乗っているのは一つもない。自分の分を奇麗に食い尽して、五六間先へ遠征に出た奴もいる。校長はいつ帰ったか姿が見えない。
ところへお座敷はこちら？ と芸者が三四人はいって来た。おれも少し驚ろいたが、壁際へ圧し付けられているんだから、じっとしてただ見ていた。すると今まで床柱へもたれて例の琥珀のパイプを自慢そうに啣えていた、赤シャツが急に起って、座敷を出にかかった。向うからはいって来た芸者の一人が、行き違いながら、笑って挨拶をした。その一人は一番若くて一番奇麗な奴だ。遠くで聞えなかったが、おや今晩はぐらい云ったらしい。赤シャツは知らん顔をして出て行ったぎり、顔を出さなかった。大方校長のあとを追懸けて帰ったんだろう。
芸者が来たら座敷中急に陽気になって、一同が鬨の声を揚げて歓迎したのかと思うくらい、騒々しい。そうしてある奴はなんこを攫む。その声の大きな事、まるで居合抜の稽古のようだ。こっちでは拳を打ってる。よっ、はっ、と夢中で両手を振るところは、ダーク一座の操人形よりよっぽど上手だ。向うの隅ではおいお酌だ、と徳利を振ってみて、酒だ酒だと言い直している。どうもやかましくて騒々しくってたまらない。そのうちで手持無沙汰に下を向いて考え込んでるのはうらなり君ばかりである。自分のために送別会を開いてくれたのは、自分の転任を惜んでくれるんじゃない。みんなが酒を呑んで遊ぶためだ。自分独りが手持無沙汰で苦しむためだ。こんな送別会なら、開いてもらわない方がよっぽどましだ。
しばらくしたら、めいめい胴間声を出して何か唄い始めた。おれの前へ来た一人の芸者が、あんた、なんぞ、唄いなはれ、と三味線を抱えたから、おれは唄わない、貴様唄ってみろと云ったら、金や太鼓でねえ、迷子の迷子の三太郎と、どんどこ、どんのちゃんちきりん。叩いて廻って逢われるものならば、わたしなんぞも、金や太鼓でどんどこ、どんのちゃんちきりんと叩いて廻って逢いたい人がある、と二た息にうたって、おおしんどと云った。おおしんどなら、もっと楽なものをやればいいのに。
すると、いつの間にか傍へ来て坐った、野だが、鈴ちゃん逢いたい人に逢ったと思ったら、すぐお帰りで、お気の毒さまみたようでげすと相変らず噺し家みたような言葉使いをする。知りまへんと芸者はつんと済ました。野だは頓着なく、たまたま逢いは逢いながら……と、いやな声を出して義太夫の真似をやる。おきなはれやと芸者は平手で野だの膝を叩いたら野だは恐悦して笑ってる。この芸者は赤シャツに挨拶をした奴だ。芸者に叩かれて笑うなんて、野だもおめでたい者だ。鈴ちゃん僕が紀伊の国を踴るから、一つ弾いて頂戴と云い出した。野だはこの上まだ踴る気でいる。
向うの方で漢学のお爺さんが歯のない口を歪めて、そりゃ聞えません伝兵衛さん、お前とわたしのその中は……とまでは無事に済したが、それから？ と芸者に聞いている。爺さんなんて物覚えのわるいものだ。一人が博物を捕まえて近頃こないなのが、でけましたぜ、弾いてみまほうか。よう聞いて、いなはれや――花月巻、白いリボンのハイカラ頭、乗るは自転車、弾くはヴァイオリン、半可の英語でぺらぺらと、I am glad to see you と唄うと、博物はなるほど面白い、英語入りだねと感心している。
山嵐は馬鹿に大きな声を出して、芸者、芸者と呼んで、おれが剣舞をやるから、三味線を弾けと号令を下した。芸者はあまり乱暴な声なので、あっけに取られて返事もしない。山嵐は委細構わず、ステッキを持って来て、踏破千山万岳烟と真中へ出て独りで隠し芸を演じている。ところへ野だがすでに紀伊の国を済まして、かっぽれを済まして、棚の達磨さんを済して丸裸の越中褌一つになって、棕梠箒を小脇に抱い込んで、日清談判破裂して……と座敷中練りあるき出した。まるで気違いだ。
おれはさっきから苦しそうに袴も脱がず控えているうらなり君が気の毒でたまらなかったが、なんぼ自分の送別会だって、越中褌の裸踴まで羽織袴で我慢してみている必要はあるまいと思ったから、そばへ行って、古賀さんもう帰りましょうと退去を勧めてみた。するとうらなり君は今日は私の送別会だから、私が先へ帰って
Translation
English
He flashed a little lightning at me. As a reply, I showed him the back of my hand with my index finger extended.
Unable to wait for Red Shirt to return to his seat, Yamarashi abruptly stood up, and I was so delighted that I involuntarily clapped my hands. Then, with Tanuki and everyone else turning to look at me, I was somewhat at a loss. Yamarashi, what do you suppose he said? “Just now, the principal and especially the head teacher expressed great regret over Mr. Koga’s transfer, but I am somewhat opposed—I hope Mr. Koga will leave this place as soon as possible. Nobeoka is a remote region, and compared to here there will no doubt be material inconveniences. However, I hear it is a place of exceedingly simple and honest customs, where all staff and students are endowed with the unsophisticated spirit of ancient times. I believe there is not a single high-collared dandy there who sprinkles insincere flattery or uses a handsome face to trap gentlemen. Therefore, a man of your warm, gentle, and sincere character will surely be welcomed by all of that region. I greatly celebrate this transfer on Mr. Koga’s behalf. In closing, once you take up your post in Nobeoka, I hope you will select a lady of that place qualified to be a good match for a gentleman, form a happy household as soon as possible, and on the facts reduce that unfaithful and undisciplined tomboy to dying of shame.” He gave two great fake coughs of “ahem, ahem” and sat down. I thought of clapping again this time, but since I disliked everyone looking at my face again, I refrained. When Yamarashi sat, next Mr. Uranari stood. With utmost politeness, he walked from his own seat to the lowest seat at the end of the room, bowed courteously to all, and then said: “On this occasion, due to personal circumstances, I am to go to Kyushu, and that the teachers have opened this grand farewell gathering for me is truly beyond words of gratitude—especially having just now received farewell addresses from the principal, head teacher, and others, I am deeply thankful and shall take them to heart. I am going to a distant place, but I ask that you not forsake me as before, and that you continue your favor.” He bowed stiffly and returned to his seat. Uranari is good-natured to a degree where one can hardly see the bottom. He was politely thanking the principal and head teacher who had made such fools of him. If it were mere formality, that would be one thing, but from his manner, his wording, and his face, he seemed to be sincerely grateful. If such a saint seriously thanked them, one would feel sorry and almost blush, yet both Tanuki and Red Shirt only listened gravely.
When the speeches ended, from here and there came the sound of “chu, chu.” I imitated and tried the soup, but it was awful. There was fish cake as an appetizer, but it was dark and a failed version of a tube-shaped fish cake. Sashimi was also laid out, but it was thick, the same as eating raw tuna cuts. Even so, the neighboring fellows were munching away as if delicious. Probably they had never eaten Edo-style cuisine.
By and by, when warm sake bottles began passing frequently, the four sides suddenly grew lively. Nodagō went respectfully before the principal to receive a cup. What a disagreeable fellow. Uranari was going around in order offering and receiving, seeming intent on making one full round. Greatly tiresome for him. When Uranari came before me and straightening the pleats of his hakama said, “Let me have one,” I too awkwardly, still in trousers, sat properly and offered him a cup. “It is a pity you came all this way only to part so soon. When do you depart? I must see you off to the beach,” I said, and Uranari replied, “No, you are busy, please do not trouble.” Whatever Uranari said, I meant to skip school and see him off.
Then within about an hour the gathering grew quite disorderly. One or two began slurring, “Well, one cup—oh, I’ll drink,” and so on. Finding it a bit boring, I went to the toilet and was viewing the old-style garden by starlight when Yamarashi came. “How was my speech just now, pretty good?” Quite pleased with himself. I said I greatly approved but protested one point I disliked, and he asked where I disagreed.
“You said there are no high-collared dandies in Nobeoka who trap people with handsome faces.”
“Yeah.”
“High-collared dandies alone are not enough.”
“Then what should I say?”
“Say something like: high-collared dandies, swindlers, cheats, hypocrites, showmen, flying squirrels, police informers, and fellows who bark ‘wan wan’ no better than dogs.”
“I can’t turn my tongue that way. You are eloquent. Above all you know a great many words. It’s strange you can’t make a speech.”
“This? I kept these words in reserve for use in fights, just in case. In a speech they don’t come out like this.”
“Is that so? But they flow glibly. Try it once more.”
“I’ll do it as many times as you like.—High-collared dandies, swindlers, cheats—” he was starting to say, when on the veranda came a clatter, and two men came staggering out.
“You two, that’s awful—running away—while I’m here I won’t let you escape, come drink.—Cheats?—Funny, cheats funny.—Come drink,”
they dragged me and Yamarashi along. Actually both had come to the toilet, but being drunk they forgot to go in and dragged us instead. A drunk makes business of whatever is before his eyes and immediately forgets the prior matter.
“Come, gentlemen, I’ve dragged the cheats here. Come, make them drink. Get the cheats good and drunk. You, don’t run,”
they pressed me, who had no intention of fleeing, against the wall. Looking around, not one tray had decent food left on it. Some had cleanly eaten their share and gone on expedition five or six rooms away. The principal was gone, no one knew when.
Then, “Is the party here?” and three or four geisha entered. I was a bit surprised, but being pressed against the wall I stayed still and just watched. Then Red Shirt, who until then had been leaning on the pillar proudly holding his amber pipe, suddenly stood and started to leave the room. One of the geisha entering from the opposite side, passing him, laughed and greeted him. That one was the youngest and prettiest. I couldn’t hear from afar, but she seemed to say, “Oh, good evening.” Red Shirt pretended not to know her and left, never showing his face again. Probably went off after the principal.
When the geisha came, the room turned suddenly cheerful, so much so one might think all raised a war cry in welcome—noisy. One fellow grabbed a geisha’s hand. The loudness of his voice was like practice in instant sword drawing. Over here they threw punches. “Yo! Ha!” swinging both arms in a frenzy, far better than the puppets of the Dark troupe. In a far corner, “Hey, waitress!” someone waved a bottle, then corrected to “Sake! Sake!” Truly too noisy and restless to bear. Amid all this, the only one hanging idle with head bowed in thought was Uranari. The farewell gathering held for him was not from regret at his transfer. It was for everyone to drink and play. It was for him alone to suffer idle and miserable. Such a farewell gathering were better never held.
After a while, each raised a loud voice and began singing something. A geisha coming before me hugged a shamisen and said, “You, sing something,” so I said I won’t, you sing, and she sang in two breaths: “Not with bell and drum, lost child, lost child, San-tarō, don-doko, don no chan-chiki-rin. If I could meet by beating around, I too with bell and drum, don-doko, don no chan-chiki-rin, would beat around to meet the one I wish,” then said, “Oh, tired.” If she’s tired, she should do something easier.
Then Noda, who had somehow come and sat beside me, said, “Thought Suzuki met the one she wished, but went straight home, my pity for you,” using his ever storyteller-like speech. “Don’t know,” the geisha said primly. Noda unconcernedly began, “By chance meet though meet…,” giving a nasty voice imitating jōruri. “Play!” the geisha slapped Noda’s knee with her open hand, and Noda laughed in delight. This geisha was the one who greeted Red Shirt. To be slapped by a geisha and laugh—Noda is a simple soul. “Suzuki, I’ll dance the Kii no Kuni, play for me,” he said. Noda meant to dance yet more.
On the other side, the old Chinese scholar twisted his toothless mouth: “Can’t hear that, Denbē-san, between you and me…,” got that out safely, then asked the geisha, “And then?” Old men have poor memory. One grabbed the natural history teacher: “Lately this kind’s made, shall I play? Listen well—‘Flower Moon Roll, white-ribbon high-collared head, rides a bicycle, plays the violin, with half-baked English babbles, I am glad to see you’”—he sang, and the natural history teacher marveled, “Indeed interesting, English mixed in.”
Yamarashi bellowed in a ridiculously loud voice, calling “Geisha, geisha,” and ordered, “I’ll do a sword dance, play the shamisen!” The geisha, startled by his rough voice, gave no answer. Yamarashi cared nothing, brought a cane, stepped to the center with “Trampling a thousand mountains and ten thousand peaks of smoke,” and performed a solo hidden talent. Then Noda, having finished Kii no Kuni, finished kabore, finished the shelf daruma, now in only a loincloth bare, hugging a palm broom, began parading the room with “Japan-China negotiations broken…”—utterly mad.
From earlier I had felt nothing but pity for Uranari, who still in hakama stood reserved looking in pain, but thought that however his own farewell it was unnecessary to endure in robe and hakama even to a loincloth naked dance, so went to him and suggested, “Mr. Koga, let us go home.” Then Uranari said, “Today is my farewell gathering, so if I go home first—
