第一百九十一章 第四章 大病的开端
第四章 大病的开端
第二天，到了惯常的时刻，马吕斯从衣橱里拿出他的新外套、新裤、新帽和新靴。他穿上这套全副甲胄，戴上手套（这是极大的奢侈品），便向卢森堡公园出发。
走到半路，他碰到了古费拉克，只装作没看见。古费拉克回到家里对朋友们说：“我刚才遇到了马吕斯的新帽子和新衣服，里面还装着一个马吕斯。他肯定是去参加考试。脸上一副呆相。”
到了卢森堡公园，马吕斯绕着喷水池走了一圈，望着天鹅，随后又在一座塑像前站着发呆，那塑像的头已经被霉烂得一塌糊涂，只剩半只屁股。在池旁，有一个四十来岁的凸着肚子的小市民，他正牵着一个五岁的孩子，对孩子说：“凡事切忌过分，我的儿子，你应该在任何事物面前都保持同等距离，既不可偏向专制，也不可偏向无政府。”马吕斯听了那小市民的议论。随后他又绕着水池兜了一圈。最后他才向着“他的小路”走去，慢吞吞地，仿佛既不得不去却又后悔要去。他自己也感到自己仿佛是在阻止自己要去。
在那条路上，他望见路的尽头，他们“俩”照旧坐在那条长凳上。他把自己的上衣一直扣到上面，把上身裹得紧紧的，不让它起一点皱折，带着某种得意的心情，注视着自己的裤子的光泽，然后向那条凳子进军。他的步伐里带有一种进攻的意味，也带有一种征服的希望。因此我说他向那条凳子进军，正如我说汉尼拔向罗马进军。
此外，他的一切动作都是机械的，他丝毫也没有中断他精神上的那些惯常活动。这时，他正想着《学士院手册》是一本不通的书，一定是由一群笨蛋编出来的，因为居然有人把拉辛的三部悲剧只有莫里哀的一部喜剧分析为人类智慧的杰作。他耳朵里有一种尖锐的哨声。他一面走近那条长凳，一面使劲把衣服上的皱纹拉平，眼睛盯着那少女。他看见她把整个小路尽头的一片蓝光都充满了。
他越往前走，他的脚步也越慢。他走到离长凳还有相当距离，还没有到小路的尽头时，便突然停下，连他自己也不知道为什么，竟转身走回来了。他心里甚至没有想过他决不再往前走。那少女在远处很难看见他，更瞧不出他那副漂亮神气的新衣服。不过他仍然把身子挺得笔直，以便让后面有人看见他会产生个好印象。
他走到那一端的尽头，又走回来，这次他离那凳比较近了点。他居然走到只相隔三棵树的地方了，但是到了那里，他好象感到一种无法向前的阻力，动摇起来了。他以为那少女的脸已向着他，但是他拿出男子汉所没有的果敢力量，压住了动摇，继续向前走。几秒钟后，他走过了那张长凳，挺着胸，硬着颈，满面通红，两眼不敢旁视，手插在衣袋里，一派政客姿态。当他走过炮台的时候，他感到心跳得利害。那女的还是和前一日一样，穿着那件锦缎裙袍，戴着那顶绉纱帽。他听见一种说不出名目的声音，那想必是她的说话声。她在安闲地谈天。她是那样美丽！他感觉到了，但他并没有想到要去看她。他只暗自想道：“她不可能不尊敬我 的《吉尔·布拉斯》的序言，那是马可·奥勃雷耿·特·拉龙达亲笔写的，并由弗朗索瓦·德·讷夫夏多作了跋，作为我的作品刊印的。”
他走过了那条长凳，一直走到离那凳子不远的尽头，随后又转身回到原处，并且再次经过那美丽的姑娘面前。这一回，他脸色显得非常苍白。此外，他的一切感受都是极不愉快的。那姑娘和那白发老人不再理他了。
他甚至装出完全不在乎的样子，连头也不回。
他心里却想着那位老人和那少女大概会把他这种呆相看在眼里，认为他是傻瓜。这种想法比身临其境地被人当作什么稻草人放在草地上穿着旧绒布衣和天鹅绒背心还要难受。
他又走回到他们跟前。这次几乎是向着他们走去的。他直走到离他们只相隔一棵树的地方，忽然感到晕头转向，只好站住。他清楚地看见那少女的面貌，她有三十来岁，衣服上下还装饰着许多缎带，嘴张开着，每说一个字都露出一口好牙。她把手伸到老人的肩上，漫不经心地用一条白丝巾在揩着。至于那老人，他整个姿势和马吕斯神父相似，他在地上用指头画着线条，他的眼光比平素更为游移。
马吕斯站了一会儿，站在那里不知如何是好，手里的表已指到四点。他忽然一惊，转身走了回去。
这时，那老人和他女儿也站起来，把手臂互相挽着，也向马吕斯这边走了来。马吕斯一下子来不及避开，和他们碰了个对面。那老人和少女慢慢地走着，低声谈着话。他们从马吕斯身边走过时，马吕斯和他们打了个照面。那少女睁着一双忧郁的深湛的眼睛向他望着，使他从头到脚剧烈地抖了一下。他觉得那少女的眼神好象责备他为什么老走到她面前来，同时又好象在鼓励他。马吕斯感到心里象着了火似的。她对他望了一眼，这已是万幸了！他仿佛觉得自己被人爱上了。他疯了。
他肯定挨了骂，却感到心花怒放。
晚饭他一点也不想吃。他感到自己的整个身体在激烈地活动，什么也不能往下咽。这是爱情到了完全支配他的时候所具有的一种特征。
他翻来覆去地折腾，一直到清晨一点钟，因为心中惶惑不安，口渴得要命，因此起来喝了一肚子的凉水，把自己浇了个透湿。
第二天，他睡得很晚，直到十点钟才起床。他又想起了昨天晚上的事，他感到自己是个天神，一夜之间他竟然创造出了这样一个奇迹。他好象觉得那少女的秋波已给他注入了新的生命。
他原想穿了那套新衣服去，但又感到不便，便不那样做。他决定还和头一天一样的穿戴，甚至比头一天还要考究。他那套新衣服既已取得了一回光荣，也就该休息一下了，再说，他也不能老是穿套新衣服。
On the following day, at the accustomed hour, Marius drew from his
wardrobe his new coat, his new trousers, his new hat, and his new
boots; he clothed himself in this complete panoply, put on his gloves,
a tremendous luxury, and set off for the Luxembourg.
On the way thither, he encountered Courfeyrac, and pretended not to see
him. Courfeyrac, on his return home, said to his friends:—
“I have just met Marius’ new hat and new coat, with Marius inside them.
He was going to pass an examination, no doubt. He looked utterly
stupid.”
On arriving at the Luxembourg, Marius made the tour of the fountain
basin, and stared at the swans; then he remained for a long time in
contemplation before a statue whose head was perfectly black with
mould, and one of whose hips was missing. Near the basin there was a
bourgeois forty years of age, with a prominent stomach, who was holding
by the hand a little urchin of five, and saying to him: “Shun excess,
my son, keep at an equal distance from despotism and from anarchy.”
Marius listened to this bourgeois. Then he made the circuit of the
basin once more. At last he directed his course towards “his alley,”
slowly, and as if with regret. One would have said that he was both
forced to go there and withheld from doing so. He did not perceive it
himself, and thought that he was doing as he always did.
On turning into the walk, he saw M. Leblanc and the young girl at the
other end, “on their bench.” He buttoned his coat up to the very top,
pulled it down on his body so that there might be no wrinkles,
examined, with a certain complaisance, the lustrous gleams of his
trousers, and marched on the bench. This march savored of an attack,
and certainly of a desire for conquest. So I say that he marched on the
bench, as I should say: “Hannibal marched on Rome.”
However, all his movements were purely mechanical, and he had
interrupted none of the habitual preoccupations of his mind and labors.
At that moment, he was thinking that the _Manuel du Baccalauréat_ was a
stupid book, and that it must have been drawn up by rare idiots, to
allow of three tragedies of Racine and only one comedy of Molière being
analyzed therein as masterpieces of the human mind. There was a
piercing whistling going on in his ears. As he approached the bench, he
held fast to the folds in his coat, and fixed his eyes on the young
girl. It seemed to him that she filled the entire extremity of the
alley with a vague blue light.
In proportion as he drew near, his pace slackened more and more. On
arriving at some little distance from the bench, and long before he had
reached the end of the walk, he halted, and could not explain to
himself why he retraced his steps. He did not even say to himself that
he would not go as far as the end. It was only with difficulty that the
young girl could have perceived him in the distance and noted his fine
appearance in his new clothes. Nevertheless, he held himself very
erect, in case any one should be looking at him from behind.
He attained the opposite end, then came back, and this time he
approached a little nearer to the bench. He even got to within three
intervals of trees, but there he felt an indescribable impossibility of
proceeding further, and he hesitated. He thought he saw the young
girl’s face bending towards him. But he exerted a manly and violent
effort, subdued his hesitation, and walked straight ahead. A few
seconds later, he rushed in front of the bench, erect and firm,
reddening to the very ears, without daring to cast a glance either to
the right or to the left, with his hand thrust into his coat like a
statesman. At the moment when he passed,—under the cannon of the
place,—he felt his heart beat wildly. As on the preceding day, she wore
her damask gown and her crape bonnet. He heard an ineffable voice,
which must have been “her voice.” She was talking tranquilly. She was
very pretty. He felt it, although he made no attempt to see her. “She
could not, however,” he thought, “help feeling esteem and consideration
for me, if she only knew that I am the veritable author of the
dissertation on Marcos Obrégon de la Ronde, which M. François de
Neufchâteau put, as though it were his own, at the head of his edition
of _Gil Blas_.” He went beyond the bench as far as the extremity of the
walk, which was very near, then turned on his heel and passed once more
in front of the lovely girl. This time, he was very pale. Moreover, all
his emotions were disagreeable. As he went further from the bench and
the young girl, and while his back was turned to her, he fancied that
she was gazing after him, and that made him stumble.
He did not attempt to approach the bench again; he halted near the
middle of the walk, and there, a thing which he never did, he sat down,
and reflecting in the most profoundly indistinct depths of his spirit,
that after all, it was hard that persons whose white bonnet and black
gown he admired should be absolutely insensible to his splendid
trousers and his new coat.
At the expiration of a quarter of an hour, he rose, as though he were
on the point of again beginning his march towards that bench which was
surrounded by an aureole. But he remained standing there, motionless.
For the first time in fifteen months, he said to himself that that
gentleman who sat there every day with his daughter, had, on his side,
noticed him, and probably considered his assiduity singular.
For the first time, also, he was conscious of some irreverence in
designating that stranger, even in his secret thoughts, by the
sobriquet of M. Leblanc.
He stood thus for several minutes, with drooping head, tracing figures
in the sand, with the cane which he held in his hand.
Then he turned abruptly in the direction opposite to the bench, to M.
Leblanc and his daughter, and went home.
That day he forgot to dine. At eight o’clock in the evening he
perceived this fact, and as it was too late to go down to the Rue
Saint-Jacques, he said: “Never mind!” and ate a bit of bread.
He did not go to bed until he had brushed his coat and folded it up
with great care.
